I am all for proper attire when attending church. But the question that is begging an answer is – what constitutes “appropriate” attire. The dress code imposed by the parish priest of Church of Saint Anthony is inconsistent, arbitrary and idiotic.
Samfoo pants suit is an ethnic wear
On Sunday 29th January, a churchwarden stopped my wife after Mass to remind her to wear “proper” attire. Otherwise, she will be barred from attending Mass. My wife, who is ethnic Chinese, was wearing a traditional samfoo pants suit – the exact one shown in picture.
A week earlier, on 22nd January, she had worn another similar samfoo pants suit and the wardens – a different team – let her in.
What is interesting is, the dress code allows women in knee length skirts, saris that bare mid drifts and so forth into church. Obviously, I find these acceptable and so does the priest and his EXCO – but they disallow any pants that is a few inches above the ankle.
What makes this samfoo pants suit “improper” or to quote the priest’s words not “appropriate” - the priest has refused to respond.
Take a look at the dress code for children above seven years old - these are identical to adults! Which means, all the children who wear shorts as part of their school uniforms are, according to this priest, not dressed appropriately.
This news report filed in asiaone.sph an online news portal of Singapore Press Holdings shows that this issue has been simmering for some time now. Apparently, for him what is “appropriate” starts/stops with dressing – but not bahaviour, which I think is equally, if not more important.
Rev Fr Terence Pereira
The priest, Rev Fr. Terence Pereira, has ignored my request for review of this dress code as evidenced by his semantics and vague emails. Please read the email exchange in the post Outraged! dated 3rd Feb 2012.
It is my intention to raise awareness, collect a following and petition the responsible offices in Singapore to effect a thorough review of the ‘dress code’.
The Constitution of the Republic of Singapore guarantees Freedom of Religion. I feel these rules are unreasonable and deny us this fundamental freedom to enter and worship in a church of our choosing.
As far as I can tell, the Archdiocese of Singapore has not approved one standard dress code and each church does its ‘own thing’. Here is a sample from another church. Sample.
Please also see article by Rev Fr. Clement Lee of the Novena Church, Singapore – in response to a letter written by a parishioner in the 25 December issue of Catholic News. In classic Catholic public politeness, the name of the church in question and the priest involved are not mentioned. It would seem that Rev Fr. Terence Pereira’s weird “dress code” is public knowledge.
That as it may be, we are outraged that my wife’s samfoo outfit, a traditional Chinese dress suit, is considered not “appropriate” in a country that more than celebrates multi-racialism – it is a cornerstone of our nation.
If you support our stand – for a review and well-defined and reasonable dress code for all men, women and children - not something left to zealots and autocratic individuals, then please go to the post entitle Outraged! dated 3rd February and support this call for a DRESS CODE REVIEW.
You will note that we are not against a dress code – but we want a review of the dress code put up by Rev Fr. Terence Pereira.
Helps us throw up such a ROAR that misguided people do not prevent us from entering the houses of worship and interacting with Our Lord as a community.
If God has given us the talent of Wisdom and Discernment – let us use it now.
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Wow, I am from a different cultural background so I am not sure how surprising or shocking I should find this… but I agree with everything you say in the post
Honestly I agree with a dress code but how about the poor who can’t afford to dress proper? Is it a sin? Can they still enter the house of GOD?
“Maybe its a good idea that churches should rent out proper ctothing at the enterance of a church to match the dress code in order to visit the house of GOD”
What is the world to be? Was it mention by Jesus that we needed to dress proper to visit the house of GOD? Was this in the TEN COMMANDMENTS?
I when in prison for my own mistakes must I be branded for the rest of my life by a church and my own family members? Rev Fathers who knew me for years now refused to talk to me, Are ex offenders allowed to visit a house of GOD? How great a sin maybe but GOD is there to listen, How great a sin maybe but GOD is there to forgive.
Re: What is interesting is, the dress code allows women in knee length skirts, saris that bare mid drifts and so forth into church.
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To be honest I personally think saris that bare mid drifts are immodest and have no place in the house of God. On the other hand I can see no difference in wearing a knee length skirt and the samfoo pants suit your wife is wearing unless there is a taboo on women wearing pants based on the scripture in the Old Testament that bars women from wearing men’s clothing and men from wearing women’s clothing.
No restrictions on women wearing pants in church – the issue is the length – that it should cover the ankles but one or two inches above the ankle will be “tolerated”…any higher and it is considered not ‘appropriate’ and the person will be barred from attending Mass!
Then I have to agree with you it is an unreasonable restriction and it sounds to me that you and your wife are dealing with a bully and not a spiritual leader.
One wonders what piece of flesh resides between the ankle and 1 or 2 inches above the ankle that warrants such obsessive attention.
Who needs a church like this anyway. It’s supposed to be the person’s heart that is the judge. To see some of the callous 15th century responses it’s no wonder the Catholic Church is fading here in America. Men only is on its way out. Good Night!
Wow! You have my sympathy, Eric.
I thought that attire appropriation is only applicable to Islam. I had no idea that your Church would impose it that much! Should we say this is quite extraordinary in Christianty thugh?
I just can’t see why attire appripriation should be institutionalized in religion at all. Boy, I bet it’s where all idiotic intepretations like the Reverend’s case got mixed up and made the whole mess.
Warm regards,
Subhan Zein
Amazing huh!
Every religion suffers their own version of ‘Taliban’ – I reckon.
Peace, Eric
The way one chooses to dress is a reflection of their character. Hence to call attention to one’s self by dressing immodestly while attending church especially when the Bible calls for women to dress modestly is a public display of the contempt and disrespect one has within their heart for the Father above.
Modesty in dressing applies not only for women – but also for men.
It also does not stop at dressing but continues on to behaviour, speech….
If we’re going to insist that women must wear FULL length pants or else knee length skirts then I think it’s only fair that the church insist that men have to start wearing neckties to mass too!
My niece was not allowed into “his” church when she was wearing calf length pants and a long sleeved blouse. The child is only 13 years old.
She had to go to the shops to purchase a pair of full length jeans to get in for a Mass that we were having for our Grandmother’s death anniversary.
I have stopped going to that church a long time ago because of this one man’s antics. It is my parish but these rules are certainly pushing parishioners away.
What a shame… a church is meant to be a place of refuge for anyone.
Pray come back Carmen.
If everyone leaves…we abdicate to the ‘catholic-taliban’ and we have only ourselves to blame.
Peace and luv,
Eric
Oh ofcourse im going to church. I live in australia now.
The priests here are happy we even make it to church. how we dress is not even an issue here.
I sympathise with those who attend services at Church of St Anthony but were disgusted with the arrogant and idiotic conduct of its parish priest. May I suggest they just boycott “his” church and attend other parishes. After all, it is “HIS” church that you want to be part of – not some out-of-his-mind “leader”‘s
Dear Larry,
Your suggestion is sound insofar as it avoids confrontation and mutual aggravation. You are right and I respect this approach.
This is not this priest’s church though he has repeatedly and proudly announced during Mass that he is here to stay (like permanent). The poor man does not realise how temporal all this is…and neither do some of his cronies who do not strengthen him but draw from him.
He is lost – perhaps we need to help him. I plan to stay…he might not realise it but I will probably be his one true friend when his world collapses around his ears.
Peace brother Larry. I appreciate that you took the trouble to stop by with your comment.
Eric
I really propose that you raise this up to the Archbishop.
One of the things he did when he became bishop was to re-shuffle the priests around especially those parish priests that nestled themselves so comfortably in their little “palaces”. The archbishop certainly has the right mind to chastise these priests. after all, they are to serve the whole community of believers not just their parish sheep.
Please do raise it up to the archbishop that he should remove this priest from his position and humble himself in some other parish or ministry. He has clearly forgotten that he is a servant of all servants as the Master is. Sad to see how some of these people get some egoistic and self-gratifying – he should learn from a good number of other priests in Singapore who are humble and pragmatic, yet stern – maybe from the previous parish priest indeed!
Mate,
It may be true in someway that this is quite a harsh restriction, however, knowing Father Terrance and his intentions and reasons behind this, and the Archbishop’s reasons for allowing and supporting this is important. (Yes this is all approved already)
Regardless of how we dress, we’re going for the Holy Mass, a place where we encounter Jesus Himself. Often discribed as the wedding feast, the Mass is a time of great reverance and like any wedding, should be appropriately dressed for.
To be frank, for the Catholic Church this is not a new law or dress code that we’ve made up and we’ve had it for a long time (A long time over which many have accused us of being pharisees.)
People who try to dress their best in this manner are the minority, and while we try to cater to them we must also fight off the lazy hordes of church goers who aren’t being respectful enough.
If they get turned off and walk away simply because they want to dress slopily rather than honour our Lord, then so be it: that is the point of Father Terrance.
”Its hard to accept, but if they are truly persistant believers, they will get used to it if nothing else to honour the Lord” I’ve heard some of the people from there say…
Granted its pretty strict and some good folks will slip through the cracks, but I think we can always afford more for God right?
Cheers
“It may be true in someway that this is quite a harsh restriction”
Eric: Pray tell in what way? If a mistake is made why is the priest unwilling to step forward and clarify?
“…Archbishop’s reasons for allowing and supporting this is important. (Yes this is all approved already)…”
Eric: Really? Then all this priest has to do is to make this transparent. You obviously seem to have inside information – something which even members of the EXCO don’t know. Incidentally, you hide behind anonymity – says something about the credibility of this assertion.
Then you sink into talking about matters not directly related to what is appropriate and why this dress suit does not meet this priest’s standards.
“…Granted its pretty strict and some good folks will slip through the cracks…”
Eric: Really, so these “good folks” are somehow dispensable for the greater good? Whatever happened to that one lost sheep…remember that story?
May I also advise you, if I may – since it is reported that the Archdiocese (who, according to you has already approved this dress code) will be reviewing this matter, everyone should refrain from further comments.
Focus on healing rather than prodding wounds.
why can’t a woman wear a dress and show her knees and ankles. But being a past catholic I can see their thinking. and how they lost sight of God’s message. I will pray for them
Sad is it not – and you ought to read some of the on-line posts of these upright people…
Yes, time to pray and reflect.
Peace
Dress codes in KC have not been a problem. Major problems came to light the last two or three years. If certain priests had kept their clothing on and left the young boys and girls alone, the church would not have had to worry about law suits and criminal charges.
I believe you refer to certain reported cases in other countries – not Singapore.
It is most sad that we let the evil one sows dissent and division among those seeking God. An what has the priest been doing? If he has been arrogant and untactful in addressing the issue when raised to him, apologise. What better way for him to be an example to the folk under his charge.
I am afraid being silent and hiding and letting the matter gets distracted as if it is all about whether we should dress decently or not in church, this case is very clear of one where some overzealous warden has blundered (which is not uncommon) and it just need to take a clear-headed priest to admit that.
Let’s stop brewing this up as if we must dress to the nines to go to church or else we will burn in hell.
Come on, Fr Terence, be humble and learn to be diplomatic. I am sure you will earn your respect (and do not let other fellow priests lose theirs too in the process)
So, wearing Samfoo is immodest due to its relationship to what-culture-that-we-all- know and deserves banning but those school girls wearing short skirts as part of their school uniform are OK because they are modernized = westernized ?
Just another example of how those who proudly calling themselves civilized and democratic being discriminative towards other people !
House rules on religious place of worship has nothing to do with our constitutional right to freedom of religion, or the denial of that right. If it did then everyone will have it’s own set of rules.
I thought that this is unnecessary anger generated for public viewing. This it is sad day because this matter should have been resolved privately within the church. I hope Eric stop all this unnecessary publicity that the Church can do without and be more forgiving to the church warden and the priest.
God bless!
Another johnny-come-lately! I am very transparent – but you do not identify yourself but chose to hide behind a pseudonym – why?
1. Please do not set yourself up as an expert on Constitutional rights.
2. I have no quarrel with the warden(s) – what/who gave you this idea and why are you as some, insist on creating issues where none exist?
3. This is not a church issue – but with one priest’s insistence on unreasonable rules – rules which even other priests have issues with. Read today’s ST – even the parish priest has agreed to ‘discuss how the guidelines are applied’. Why are you bringing this up now? What is your agenda?
4. Read the email exchange between Rev Fr. Terrence Pereira and I – he chose not to resolve it privately. I am not one for slipping anonymous letters under his door or gathering in gossipy corners. I did tell him that I would rather resolve it in private and within St Anthony – did you bother to check before you started casting stones my way!
5. When the news broke in mypaper on Tuesday 7th February – I suggested that people cool down and leave matters in the hands of the learned fathers of the Archdiocese. Did you bother to check?
6. But people claiming to represent the ‘youth’ of the parish and others from our parish continued with their on-line flaming – showing extreme disrespect to the Archdiocese of Singapore.
Instead of questioning me, pray tell – have you approached the Rev Fr. Terence Pereira about what he has done so far to defuse the situation? Is this the time to remain silent?
I suggest that you read all three posts in this blog to get the full picture and then try holding your peace, instead of making these comments!
God bless you too!
Well said Eric! My wife was also ambushed by the “nice” warden lady who prohibited her from entering the church just before it started as her pants was about three inches high just missing by one inch. Here I was already seated inside and not sure why both my sons and wife did not enter till after mass when I was told the whole incident. Sadly both my kids and wife missed the sermon. Anyway not really miss much since all these while, the sermons by a certain priest was not really inspiring at all as compared to what I heard in other catholic churches and at the Blessed Sacrament when I was young. Both my sons were shut out when they were late for catechism after walking in heavy rain. At least in school they would have their names taken down and still not miss the precious lessons. This is not wisdom at all! It is about authoritarian approach. Sadly nowadays, the focus is no longer on humility and forgiveness and love. The sermons that I heard seems to be mostly on admonishment and reprimand. Not any different from a basic school education system. As for the cultural excuse given, the Chinese woman was actually wearing a traditional Chinese new year attire and really in touch with the Chinese culture. And it was during the festive Chinese New Year period. I really miss Father Bruno who gather all the kids during his sermon to embrace everyone like Jesus did. It taught the family to reach out to their children rather than banish them just because they are noisy or restless. The segregation and class system must not be heightened or the Catholics becomes divided and diminished. Thanks for highlighting the issue.
From what we understand from friends who attended yesterday evening’s Mass, the church suspended the Dress Code until further notice.
Let us ALL move on, reflect on our actions/words and grow…
Luv and peace, Eric
I am glad to hear that the church has some common sense to suspend the dress code. This is very clearly a case of an overzealous warden. The priest can do a lot by resolving the matter immediately – like bringing the aggrieved parties and the culprit (i.e. the warden) together to clear the air. But this is definitely not done. It is so typical of some priests who think they can wish a matter away or so brush it aside as if they have divine mandate. They are the ones that cause the believers to lose faith. Do priests ever get inter-personal skill training? But then, if they have decided to take on the vocation, they should have known better than to err is human, to apologise is grace and to be generous and humble. It is time the diocese makes sure priests learn humility – or else the church will never grow. The last thing I really want is to see self-righteous priests and wardens and parishioners take away the church. I hope this matter is not going to be brushed aside by the diocese. Let’s learn to be caring and show some humility, will you?
This morning my wife and I attended Mass as usual. After Mass and prior to dismissing the congregation the celebrant, Rev Fr. Gerard Weerakoon, read from a note – the dress code is suspended until further “advisement from Archbishop Nicholas Chia”.
I think everyone should respect this and leave this in the good hands of the Archbishop’s Office.
Please do not post any further comments – either for or against.
I am an ex-Catholic who now worships in a Christian church and when I came upon this article, I felt aggrieved.
Firstly, there was nothing immodest about your wife’s outfit. It was precisely because I experienced similar rigid and “power crazy” persecution by a priest that I left the Catholic church. I never stopped seeking to have a relationship with Christ, but only returned to church some years later.
If the LORD did not turn away the unclean who were clothed in diseased flesh and labelled untouchables, if the LORD offered His grace to the woman at the well who had had several husbands and was co-habiting with another… Who are we to judge deny people the right to enter and worship? What if a lady who happened to be in a t-shirt and berms felt a calling to come and sit at his feet to listen BUT the wardens refuse her entry? What if that moment at His feet would have changed her life, changed her family’s lives? Perhaps we need to ask ourselves what is the purpose of a church- it is place for people to connect with Jesus, to have a relationship with Him. The LORD is the judge who sits on the throne not us, and Christ came to tear away the veil (which in bible symbolism represents the law) that prevented us from having an intimate relationship with our Father in Heaven. We are supposed to be dead to the law which the bible says excites trespasses, and alive in Christ through His precious gift of grace but so many of us still cling rigidly to the law not knowing why. The law is perfect and holy but it was never for us to fulfil which is why Christ died on the cross- to fulfill the perfect for us, the imperfect.
I left the church a broken spirit as a teenager and my whole family stopped going to church because of the incident with an equally egoistical priest. My parents have yet to return to church because as irony would have it, although they moved to the Northeast, the same priest has shifted to the same parish just walking distance from their home.
There are many reasons I left the RC, above all the reasons is the conviction that something isn’t right in the way the gospel is being preached and Jesus represented. I have found a deeper walk with Jesus in my current church and continue to pray for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ in the RC to have this same knowledge of the LORD’s redemption, His unconditional love and His amazing grace.
For someone totally outside of this, Ontario Canada, what surprised me was I realized you are in Singapore. I understand that there can be cultural differences that sometimes act as irritants, but in place of such cultural diversity as Singapore you would expect better, especially in a shared faith community.
Outrageous. This takes away from the entire purpose of a house of worship and from his duty to serve. Very sad.
I am sorry. Do not approve that 1st comment.
From my Phone, I did not see your final post until after I posted. – Sheryl
No worries Sheryl. I shall archive your comment. Peace, Eric
I hope you are able to resolve this situation.
That’s just weird! what your wife’s wearing looks like VERY proper attire to me! Sounds like a variant of racism to me.
I do not attend a church for my own personal reasons, but in my opinion your wife’s Samfoo was beautiful and would be accepted as appropriate attire in so many other churches. It covered every and all areas that should be covered, and it looked really nice on her. I do not understand the priest’s refusal to at least reconsider the issue. I hope that he does reconsider and your wife can continue to wear such gorgeous attire. I will be sending good thoughts your way in hopes that everything gets sorted out as it should
geeeez what did St. Anthony see in an ankle or a knee ? My take is nothing and I’m sure he’d agree.
The Archbishop’s Office has suspended the ‘Dress Code’ and I think everyone should respect this. I request again that you do not post any further comments – either for or against.
Thank you for your understanding and support on this, Eric
I’ll say that this is quite funny. I do not go to church anymore, although growing up I hated dressing up in tights, skirts, dresses, and shoes that hurt. Of course, after my mom would get me cinnamelts from McDonald’s to make it all better.
I also have to add that I have a family member named Eric
Anyways, this is stupid and unfair. We all know what inappropriate is for women and girls to wear in this time, and no one in their right mind would wear that to church. Actually, I wore capris to church and I was in choir! This church is very unfair. Plus, it seems that your church and the people in it are being nosey- why would they stop to say that, especially because it is TRADITIONAL? It’s not like your wife wore it for the heck of it, it’s where she is from, it’s a part of her, and that is wrong.
I support you in changing the dress code. The only dress code churches should have are no shorts more than 2 inches above the thigh, no shirts that show stomach, back, or chest skin (meaning that you should not be able to see a women’s undershirt) and shoes should not have more than 4 inches of heel. And men should not go shirtless and all that stuff. It’s COMMON SENSE.
Hopefully this makes sense
Hmm.. Your church is very different from my church. My church doesn’t have a dress code. We want people to be able to come to church no matter what they look like, so they can believe in God, and get saved. That is what every church should be focused on. Helping people know who Christ is and serving God.
My wife is the priest for our parish – obviously not Catholic, but very close: Anglican. We have no dress code and so far there has been no one who came and flaunted their freedom by dressing in a very wild way. We had attended a church at one point that tried to institute a dress code: shoes required, hats required for women and forbidden to men, and nothing revealing in any sense. Then long ago we were at a church who had a tacit dress code that did not view blue jeans as acceptable on Sundays. I got in trouble for that one; I was preaching one Sunday and wore jeans that day. There are so many important things to worry about but they are difficult to deal with so we take the easy way out and deall with unimportant things.
Hang in there.